so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize