Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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