so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize