I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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