This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
