bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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