I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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