dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
