woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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