I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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