i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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