She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
