they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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