guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
