When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
