Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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