The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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