i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
