they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
