2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
