Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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