Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
