Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
