we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
