people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
