You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
