If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
