he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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