I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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