and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
