uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
