so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
