Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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