whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
