All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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