i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
