i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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