just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You pole danced in your parka.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize