oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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