I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
