she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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