My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
