is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
