Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
