Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
