ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
