I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
