Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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