I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
