Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
