He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
