But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
