this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
