He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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