WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize