No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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