I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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