I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
