Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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