The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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