if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
