I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
