I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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